We don't expect it will be easy...

The recent news story of the adoptive mom who sent her adopted son back to Russia has people asking questions about how it could happen. Today I read this thoughtful blog post in which an adoptive mom who has adopted boys from both Russia and Ethiopia asks good questions and shares hope. Our senior pastor's wife, also an adoptive mom, also recently wrote a blog post on this topic.

Andy asked me recently, "Are you ready for the hardest year of your life?"

"I don't know," I replied, "but I'm trying to do what I can to prepare."

Oh, we expect there will be great joys, but also great challenges. My friends who are moms tell me parenting can be very difficult. Add to that the challenges of parenting little ones whose first years of life were traumatic or who most likely didn't get the love, affection, attention, stimulation, or nutrition needed for the kind of healthy development we would all hope for for our children. Things may be particularly challenging as our children grieve the loss of their current caregivers (in the orphanage) and all that is currently familiar to them and adjust to life with new parents who speak a new language in a new culture where everything is unfamiliar. And having been hurt by past relationships or losses, trusting may not come easily for them.

We've heard and read enough adoption stories of children more than a year old to expect there will be challenges as the children grieve their losses, attach to their new parents, and may need to heal from a traumatic past. The majority of adoption stories I've heard and read involve not only challenges, but over time, the family developing healthy attachments and the children overcoming past hurts. And we've heard A LOT of adoption stories. There are hundreds of adoptive families in our church. I'm also on a listserv for parents who have adopted or are adopting from Russia, as well as part of an adoptive parents' group led by a couple who adopted two girls from Russia.

I'm thankful for an adoption agency that offers lots of training opportunities, the overwhelming support of family, friends, and our church family, and the many resources available in the Twin Cities for adoptive parents.

I still have a long list of books I'd like to read before we adopt to help me continue to prepare. This delay in going to Russia gives me more time to prepare to become an adoptive mom, and that is a good thing.